On your mark... Get set... RUN!

“Running is a big question mark that’s there each and every day. It asks you, ‘Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?’” – Peter Maher, Irish-Canadian Olympian and Sub-2:12 marathoner

Well, Peter...  I'm not going to be a wimp.  But I'm for damn sure going to whine about it the entire time.

Hi.  I'm Val, and I hate running.  Ok, maybe I don't HATE running...  But I really despise running.  It is absolutely awful.  Why on earth would someone voluntarily decide to go nowhere quickly?  There are so many other things that can be done to achieve a cardio workout.

Me + running immediately brings one image to mind:

Patsy and Edina.  Huffing and puffing.  Crying and moaning.  This picture creates a perfect graphic description of what I feel I emit facially and attitudinally when I run.  Not quite Fabulous.  

Alas... I decided to run today.

Now - I'm not a a big fan of treadmill running.  It always leads me to one of two trains of thought:

1. OMG - this is the longest [1... 2... 3... miles] ever.  Why isn't the time moving quicker?  I don't think this is tracking my distance properly.  Is this thing plugged in?  Why am I watching a fishing show?  Is this truly quality television?  Oh boy... you caught a Marlin.  No you didn't!  That's a tire.  Dumbass.  Fuck.  I'm only a quarter mile in.  This sucks.
2. This must be what a hamster feels like.  Hamsters are stupid.  Oh shit.  That means I'm stupid.

Therefore, I decided to run outside.  Hey... if you have to run, you might as well look at something pretty.  It actually didn't start badly.  A light drizzle had begun just as I journeyed outside.  First thought "ugh... bad idea."  Second thought "hmmm... this might be refreshing."

So, after I did some quick stretching, I hit the pavement.  I started at a moderate slow pace.  I didn't want to waste anytime walking.  This was going to suck and the sucking needed to end as quickly as possible.

I didn't look at the time.  I didn't look at my distance.  I focused on the comedic sounds of Lewis Black emitting from my earbuds and focused on laughing my way through this medieval torture.

Fail.

If it is possible, I actually ran slower than normal today.  Maybe the extended time is due to my bad attitude toward this activity.  Perhaps the rain played a factor, as I tried not to hurt myself on the uneven terrain.  Either way, I ended up spending most of the time thinking to myself "have I burned enough calories for a glass of wine tonight?"  Nonetheless, today's mile and a quarter run was the longest 11 minutes of my life.

After a quick cool down to bring my breathing back down from erratic to intense.  And then a long bending stretch to force the vomit to remain inside my body - I headed back into the gym.

Time to complete my workout.  Day, whatever-the-hell-it-is of my ab challenge.  Sit-ups.  Crunches.  Leg lifts.  Plank.  I didn't feel as though I retained enough energy to complete the workout, but it was done.  And all within my allotted workout time.  Even more surprising, when I went back to work, I found I was more focused and able to get more done in the same amount of time as the morning.  Maybe there is something to this running nonsense...

10 hours after my workout, I am still whiney and noncommittal about running - but I know it is the best allover workout one can achieve.  And lets face it - it seems to bring me to a state of clarity.  Nonetheless, I have still not experienced the elusive "runners high."  And regardless what anyone says, I'm convinced that anyone who claims to reach this high was actually disoriented due to lack of oxygen.

If it weren't for my horse...